Uprooting Comparison

I have a confession.

I have a terrible, terrible, habit of comparing myself to others. When I decided to start writing again a few months ago, for the first time in a long time I was wide awake. It was like the feeling you get when you’re planting a seed in fresh soil, waiting with anticipation for it to sprout.

But here's the thing…the more I wrote and planted these seeds, the more weeds I started to find: weeds of insecurity, weeds of anxiety, weeds of unbelief, etc. The most stubborn weed of them all though: comparison. And just as weeds consume garden plants, comparison began to consume my thoughts.

Thoughts like “it’s already been done by someone else,” “your writing isn’t good enough,” and “there’s no room for you,” flooded my mind. Just like that, I started procrastinating again and avoiding taking the steps to launch my blog. Self-doubt and the suffocating feeling of being stuck crept in yet again.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time I’ve felt overcome by comparison. I remember the sinking feeling after coming down from the high of my college graduation. The pride I felt as a first gen college graduate was quickly overshadowed by the realization that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. My friends were beginning their graduate school programs, starting jobs, and moving to new cities, while I moved back into my parents home with no real plan.

During that period of uncertainty, I found myself not only questioning my worth, but questioning God’s plan for my life. As a result, I accepted the first job opportunity that came my way out of desperation and fear of not measuring up. Little did I know, that premature decision would later take a huge toll on my physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental wellbeing. You see, this is why comparing ourselves to others is so dangerous.

Comparison stifles our faith, discernment, focus, joy, confidence, and individuality.

When we look to others' lives as a standard for where we should be instead of focusing on our own, we wind up out of alignment with God's unique will for our lives. We either end up making decisions that don’t feel authentic to us or become paralyzed by what we perceive are shortcomings.

I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve repeatedly measured how “good” I’m doing in life by looking at other people. But this time around, when I compared my ability to create and write, it finally clicked. I realized that comparison comes at the expense of our purpose.

The more we compare our timelines to others, the more difficult it is to decipher what God is speaking over us because we’re too busy trying to fit into someone else’s mold. And can I tell you, it is impossible to step into the fullest and most genuine version of ourselves when we’re trying to operate outside of the will of our creator.

Comparison will literally have you out of breath, running imaginary races you haven’t trained for against people you’re not in competition with, to win a prize you don’t even really want.

It magnifies our insecurities and distracts us from what God is calling us to do in our lives. But the truth that God is reminding me of this time around is that my walk with Him is different. My story is different. My perspective is different. My set of giftings is different. My mountains and valleys are different. My delivery is different. Because of that, even on my best day I can’t write the way the next person does, and they can’t write like me. And that is a good thing.

No one has ever walked in your shoes, so your quirks, your journey, and timeline will inevitably look different. Our distinctiveness is not a constraint, but a gift.

So, in case you forgot, may you be reminded today that there is room for you too. There is no need to play catch up anymore. God designed you uniquely and will use your distinction to bring Him glory uniquely. Yield to Him and trust His process.

Here are some things I’ve been doing more of lately to uproot the weed of comparison in my heart:

• Praying. It may sound cliché, but there is still power in prayer. Instead of looking around, look up at God. Bring the areas that you feel inadequate to Him. He desires to hear from you and speak to you.

• Practicing affirmations. I have a set of affirmations rooted in scripture that I regularly speak over myself. These days I’m clinging to God’s reminder that “I am chosen.” John 15:16 and Ephesians 1:3-6 have the receipts!

• Logging off. Every time I hop on social media, I am bombarded with people’s highlights. I think social media is a powerful tool, but it also creates an opportunity to compare our lives to others. Take time away to look inwardly and check in with yourself.

• Practicing gratitude. You may not be exactly where you want to be, but I guarantee there are things that you prayed about a month ago, a year ago, or even five years ago that you’re currently sitting in. Write those things down. This has helped to be more content in my "now" and hopeful for my "next."

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

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