Silencing the Noise

What is the soundtrack playing in the background of your life?

With the semester in full effect, my world sounds particularly loud these days. I feel like school always brings out a tenser version of myself that’s less emotionally attuned and more performance-driven.

Although I’ve always been "good" at school and actually enjoy the process of learning new things, I’ve found that academic environments have a way of bringing out some of my insecurities.

When you’re a first-gen black woman with humble beginnings, it can feel like there’s a chip on your shoulder. Between the expectations of those whose shoulders I stand on and the countless obstacles we have to maneuver through, I often find myself feeling like I have something to prove.

Am I smart enough?

Do I have what it takes to succeed in these courses?

Do I really have what it takes to complete this program?

Is there something I’m missing?

How do my professors perceive me? My peers?

Am I a fraud?

These questions and thoughts have been on repeat for the past two weeks. But truthfully, many of these questions are songs that have played regularly throughout different seasons of my life.

The belief that I need to prove my worth through my achievements and material success creates an excruciating sound every time I sit down to do a reading or work on an assignment.

And the thing about sound is that it travels outward in all directions, meaning the songs of insecurity that play in one area of your life, will inevitably travel into other areas of your life.

For me, the noise is the lie that if I or my work is anything less than perfect, I'm a failure. It’s also the lie that I need anyone outside of God to approve of me even though His word says I am chosen, a masterpiece, more than a conqueror, and His workmanship created to do works [1 Peter 2:9; Psalm 139:14; Romans 8:37; Ephesians 2:10].

Your soundtrack might sound like mine. Or maybe it's the negative things people in your life have spoken over you. It might even be the sound and memories of past mistakes.

Whatever your noise might be, its effect is the same: it deafens us to God’s voice, distorts how we see ourselves, convinces us to play small, and prevents us from taking meaningful steps forward in our calling.

To be honest, my instinct is to fight the noise with even more noise: mindless scrolling, binging shows, creating chores, stress eating, or looking for validation in people, places, and things.

But this time I’m doing things differently. I’m identifying the noise, giving it a name, exploring its roots, and taking it captive. There is too much inside of me to settle for what's been. There is too much inside of you to allow old lies to keep you stuck and small.

This season is for scrapping the soundtrack of lies that has played for way too long in the background and writing new songs. We are releasing old ways of thinking, speaking life into and over ourselves, and embracing the truth about what God says about us.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Disclaimer: The information provided in or through this website is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, therapy, diagnosis, or treatment.