Laying Down Idols

My vision for Pure Gold Notes was a platform for honest storytelling that encourages someone to keep showing up, keep choosing purpose, and keep seeking God even when it doesn’t feel good. So, here we go.

I lost my job in a mass layoff about a month ago.

Some days are good, and I feel strong because I know God’s will is perfect. I have years worth of evidence of His faithfulness toward me. I can't even begin to count all the times He has turned setbacks into launching pads.

Still, some days are tough, and I struggle to understand the 'why' of this season. Like God, I know you hold my future, and I know every season has a purpose, but can we fast forward to the part of my story where it all makes sense?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

You know, God has a great sense of humor because, in my last blog post about the things I was planning on leaving behind in 2022, the first thing on my list was “rooting my worth in my career, education, or productivity.”

Truthfully, when I wrote that, I didn’t realize how much of my identity I attached to my career. After losing my job, I found myself questioning what I bring to the table.

I was good at my job and even enjoyed it. I believed my work mattered and that my contributions were making a difference. So, seeing how quickly my role was terminated shook me, to say the least.

But the most difficult revelation for me to come to terms with is the realization that I made an idol out of my career.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

Subconsciously, I put more trust in my paycheck than in God’s ability to provide. I’ve drawn a good portion of my confidence in my ability to achieve and advance in my career.

Let me be clear, having a job is not a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to grow in your career. In fact, I'm currently regrouping to figure out my next career move. You can have a purposeful career that is pleasing to God.

But here’s the thing, anything you use to give you a sense of worth outside of Jesus Christ is an idol. That means even a good thing can become an idol.

You shall have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3

Once you have made something more important than your relationship with God, you have effectively built an altar at the feet of something man made. And that man made thing, that idol, will never satisfy the longing of your soul. At best, it’ll give you fleeting happiness and an unsustainable sense of self-worth.

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:19-20

This realization is bringing me to a place of repentance. I am learning that I am not my job. I am not the sum of a paycheck. I am not a series of bullets and responsibilities. But most importantly, there is no job in the world worth more than knowing Jesus. Period.

Though waiting is hard, the beauty of it is that it leads us to surrender in a way that we otherwise wouldn’t have. Sometimes it takes losing something really important to us to realize who our source really is.

Honestly, I’m not sure what’s next or what God wants to do with my career and that’s scary. But I have a promise.

But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold. Job 23:10

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